Saturday, September 06, 2003
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
An Album for Every Mood
Wilco's Yankee Foxtrot Hotel is a great heartbreak album. Maybe there is a album for every mood. Here are a couple picks for right now.
Angry, confused, bitter rage (preferably as a result of a failed or failing relationship): Fiona Apple's "When the Pawn..."
High on acid, slightly horny, somewhat paranoid, but calm: Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon"
Feeling slightly guilty and cleaning your room: Built to Spill's "Keep it Like a Secret"
Pissed off about politics and money and your parents: The Clash (eponymous)
Just got laid (happy, happy :): AC/DC "Back in Black" or Guns n' Roses "Appetite for Destruction"
Deep sadness because of the death of a close friend or family member: MC Hammer "2 Legit 2 Quit" (his 2nd album)
Just had eardums removed in painful and costly surgery: Celine Dion's new album "A Brand New Day"
Feeling lust over an older woman: Shania Twain's "UP" (why the fuck do I know this trivial shit...oh god)
Just got raped in Stanley Park by a bear: Simon and Garfunkel's "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Been Up on Speed for a Week Straight: Aphex Twin EP "Come to Daddy"...I will eat your soul, I will eat your soul...come to daddy, come to daddy.
Just realized You are Gay: Elton John's "Greatest Hits Vol I or II"
Checking out a (perhaps too) young black girl: R Kelly's "Chocolate Factory"
Feeling Sad and Reminiscent (and you have good taste): The Beatle's "White Album"
Wishing you were 15 again: Pearl Jam "Ten"
Wilco's Yankee Foxtrot Hotel is a great heartbreak album. Maybe there is a album for every mood. Here are a couple picks for right now.
Angry, confused, bitter rage (preferably as a result of a failed or failing relationship): Fiona Apple's "When the Pawn..."
High on acid, slightly horny, somewhat paranoid, but calm: Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon"
Feeling slightly guilty and cleaning your room: Built to Spill's "Keep it Like a Secret"
Pissed off about politics and money and your parents: The Clash (eponymous)
Just got laid (happy, happy :): AC/DC "Back in Black" or Guns n' Roses "Appetite for Destruction"
Deep sadness because of the death of a close friend or family member: MC Hammer "2 Legit 2 Quit" (his 2nd album)
Just had eardums removed in painful and costly surgery: Celine Dion's new album "A Brand New Day"
Feeling lust over an older woman: Shania Twain's "UP" (why the fuck do I know this trivial shit...oh god)
Just got raped in Stanley Park by a bear: Simon and Garfunkel's "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water"
Been Up on Speed for a Week Straight: Aphex Twin EP "Come to Daddy"...I will eat your soul, I will eat your soul...come to daddy, come to daddy.
Just realized You are Gay: Elton John's "Greatest Hits Vol I or II"
Checking out a (perhaps too) young black girl: R Kelly's "Chocolate Factory"
Feeling Sad and Reminiscent (and you have good taste): The Beatle's "White Album"
Wishing you were 15 again: Pearl Jam "Ten"
Electric Thoughts from Sept 6, 2003
Why did Axle Rose wear short-shorts? The whole thing in the Middle East isn't going very well. My neighbour thinks she can telepathically communicate with my dog, and, for a while, she had me believing her -- lock the door tonight. Is it rude to interject into the conversation of two nerdy and incredibly beautiful 16 year olds talking about classic movies your own suggestions (such as Some Like it Hot); even when you are trying to be friendly, you seem like a pedophile. At one point, I thought it was the second week in September and then I got confused. Elvis was really fat near the end. Dogs really are man's best friend. Should I be studying instead of watching tennis on TV. Miles Davis said that Mick Jagger "danced like a white man"; he was right. I am tired. I am hungry. I have had an unusually large number of bowel movements today. I want to see somebody wearing a pro-Bush t-shirt at UBC. And then I want people to make that person cry. And then afterwards, I want to realize that what I did was wrong. I hate going to church. American nationalism can be very beautiful. I hate cops, but they are there to protect. Police protection should be more democratic. I wish I had casual sex on a daily basis. I want to be in love. Maybe one day I will have kids. I hate kids -- why are they so stupid. Are people in Vancouver less friendly than most cities. If you make eye contact with people on the bus they think you are a rapist. If I ever have a mugshot I will smile as best as I can. Life is wierd. Bukowski was a good poet no matter what people say -- but I'm not sure he was a poet, really. More of a drunk, really. I could never be a drunk -- hangovers are a waste of fucking time. Was Elvis fat in a cool kind of way; or was he just fat? I've gained weight. Tzaziki is good. My parents just got home from a day of meetings regarding the Anglican Church and faggotry. My parents hate fags. At least they're not fashion victims. But it makes me sad. Who was the gayest man ever? Art defies interpretation because it is sacred and other-wordly. But it can be fun to desiminate. Must eat. No eat -- die.
Why did Axle Rose wear short-shorts? The whole thing in the Middle East isn't going very well. My neighbour thinks she can telepathically communicate with my dog, and, for a while, she had me believing her -- lock the door tonight. Is it rude to interject into the conversation of two nerdy and incredibly beautiful 16 year olds talking about classic movies your own suggestions (such as Some Like it Hot); even when you are trying to be friendly, you seem like a pedophile. At one point, I thought it was the second week in September and then I got confused. Elvis was really fat near the end. Dogs really are man's best friend. Should I be studying instead of watching tennis on TV. Miles Davis said that Mick Jagger "danced like a white man"; he was right. I am tired. I am hungry. I have had an unusually large number of bowel movements today. I want to see somebody wearing a pro-Bush t-shirt at UBC. And then I want people to make that person cry. And then afterwards, I want to realize that what I did was wrong. I hate going to church. American nationalism can be very beautiful. I hate cops, but they are there to protect. Police protection should be more democratic. I wish I had casual sex on a daily basis. I want to be in love. Maybe one day I will have kids. I hate kids -- why are they so stupid. Are people in Vancouver less friendly than most cities. If you make eye contact with people on the bus they think you are a rapist. If I ever have a mugshot I will smile as best as I can. Life is wierd. Bukowski was a good poet no matter what people say -- but I'm not sure he was a poet, really. More of a drunk, really. I could never be a drunk -- hangovers are a waste of fucking time. Was Elvis fat in a cool kind of way; or was he just fat? I've gained weight. Tzaziki is good. My parents just got home from a day of meetings regarding the Anglican Church and faggotry. My parents hate fags. At least they're not fashion victims. But it makes me sad. Who was the gayest man ever? Art defies interpretation because it is sacred and other-wordly. But it can be fun to desiminate. Must eat. No eat -- die.
>
The Battle of Gary Vs. Arnie
Although I can't boast an initmate knowledge of the fake elections of African dictators (who the fuck can?), I still think that the California re-call election is shaping up to be the most entertaining election of the year. As I see it, the two leading candidates are an African-American, midget, former child star, and a man who has devoted his life to having an insanely muscular body and starring in movies about robots and his midget twin (not the same midget -- this one is white) and shit.
If I was a Californian (and I do have many Californian relatives), the deciscion would be very difficult. I mean, as much as I love midgets, I really love robots, and shit. So: for all my Californian blog readers (yeah fucking right!) here is some information to help you decide who will win the battle of Gary Vs. Arnie.
First of all, what does the honourable Gary Coleman say about government waste? "I'd kick in the ass every member of the House that had more than two secretaries." Wachyou talking 'bout Willis? Also, when informed by a reporter that members of the state legislature were seen smoking cigars what appeared to be expensive Scotch on the capitol building balcony, the candidate promised to "find them and put my size four-and-a-halfs so deep into their colon!"
Interestingly, Coleman is anti-labour unions and pro-drugs. He rationalizes this by saying that "there is no drug-related crime and robberies in countries like, oh - lemme pull one of out my ass here -- Denmark. Or Belgium." Thoughtful analysi by the candidate, but what's with the anal fixation.
As for Coleman's robot/nazi/ body-builder rival, it has recently been revealed that in a 1977 French porn magazine interview that Swartznegger called gays "fags." Here is the exact quote: "Gay people are fighting the same kind of stereotyping that body-builders are: People have misconceptions about them just as they do about us." (Ok, the fag part comes later on).... Oh really Arnie. Well yes, I guess Mister Universes have it pretty hard with all the public adoration and ability- to- crush- black midgets -both literally -and politically- thing. But he does have a point about fags and weight-lifters...Maybe Arnold is a fag??? Stay tuned to learn the Truth dearest reader.
Although I can't boast an initmate knowledge of the fake elections of African dictators (who the fuck can?), I still think that the California re-call election is shaping up to be the most entertaining election of the year. As I see it, the two leading candidates are an African-American, midget, former child star, and a man who has devoted his life to having an insanely muscular body and starring in movies about robots and his midget twin (not the same midget -- this one is white) and shit.
If I was a Californian (and I do have many Californian relatives), the deciscion would be very difficult. I mean, as much as I love midgets, I really love robots, and shit. So: for all my Californian blog readers (yeah fucking right!) here is some information to help you decide who will win the battle of Gary Vs. Arnie.
First of all, what does the honourable Gary Coleman say about government waste? "I'd kick in the ass every member of the House that had more than two secretaries." Wachyou talking 'bout Willis? Also, when informed by a reporter that members of the state legislature were seen smoking cigars what appeared to be expensive Scotch on the capitol building balcony, the candidate promised to "find them and put my size four-and-a-halfs so deep into their colon!"
Interestingly, Coleman is anti-labour unions and pro-drugs. He rationalizes this by saying that "there is no drug-related crime and robberies in countries like, oh - lemme pull one of out my ass here -- Denmark. Or Belgium." Thoughtful analysi by the candidate, but what's with the anal fixation.
As for Coleman's robot/nazi/ body-builder rival, it has recently been revealed that in a 1977 French porn magazine interview that Swartznegger called gays "fags." Here is the exact quote: "Gay people are fighting the same kind of stereotyping that body-builders are: People have misconceptions about them just as they do about us." (Ok, the fag part comes later on).... Oh really Arnie. Well yes, I guess Mister Universes have it pretty hard with all the public adoration and ability- to- crush- black midgets -both literally -and politically- thing. But he does have a point about fags and weight-lifters...Maybe Arnold is a fag??? Stay tuned to learn the Truth dearest reader.
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Attention Sonic Youth
Hello kids, and attention fellow devotees of the greatest rock band ever, the Sundance Film Channel (how many channels do you get?) is presenting a program hosted by Thurston Moore (the rocker with the electric mop), which will explore the connections between film and music. If you by chance get this channel, then check it out and let me know how it is. 'Cuz I don't get that many channels. What was that bad song by Bruce Springsteen..."56 channels and nothin' on." Well now there is something to watch. (P.S. I think it is on Friday nights). For more information look at the Pitchfork music website or the Sundance home.
Are people sick of my fucked-up poetry yet. I am. But that doesn't mean it's going to stop -- you hear? I'm still bitter about losing some of my best work of the summer to archaic technology. And I am determined to replace my lost genius. How neurotic is that? I dunno.
As for my life, it is OK. Stay tuned for the gripping details. But never fear, this isn't going to become one of those shitty-whiny-I want to be Sylvia Plath-why don't people love me-blogs. I like to drink wine.
Hello kids, and attention fellow devotees of the greatest rock band ever, the Sundance Film Channel (how many channels do you get?) is presenting a program hosted by Thurston Moore (the rocker with the electric mop), which will explore the connections between film and music. If you by chance get this channel, then check it out and let me know how it is. 'Cuz I don't get that many channels. What was that bad song by Bruce Springsteen..."56 channels and nothin' on." Well now there is something to watch. (P.S. I think it is on Friday nights). For more information look at the Pitchfork music website or the Sundance home.
Are people sick of my fucked-up poetry yet. I am. But that doesn't mean it's going to stop -- you hear? I'm still bitter about losing some of my best work of the summer to archaic technology. And I am determined to replace my lost genius. How neurotic is that? I dunno.
As for my life, it is OK. Stay tuned for the gripping details. But never fear, this isn't going to become one of those shitty-whiny-I want to be Sylvia Plath-why don't people love me-blogs. I like to drink wine.
Monday, September 01, 2003
we don't have that kind of money to take that kind of risk
fold your hands: your heart is piss
take a vacation in infinite bliss
remove your thoughts: conclude with a kiss
it's not that kind of daydream when your mind is a trap
fold your arms: the time has come
leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone
unplug your thermometer: all heat is a map
fold your hands: your heart is piss
take a vacation in infinite bliss
remove your thoughts: conclude with a kiss
it's not that kind of daydream when your mind is a trap
fold your arms: the time has come
leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone
unplug your thermometer: all heat is a map
keep on keep one keep all keepsake keepcunt keeper kkk krazy morning kelly kaya karl and karen
OK team. ok.
Putrid, abusive, abrasive, sleep-deprived, in a trance, composed, composed, doing a dance, okokokokokokok, goodbye my friends, hello, shuttlecraft. shuttlefish, disaster, suicide, contemplation, anal sex, ecstasy, deforestaion, cosmic awakening, transcendental scam, motherly concern, fatigue, pain, see ya honey: i'm off to find my destination, experimental prose asylum, forget-me-not in the summer, in the summer, sonic life, hands, feet, the early nineteen eighties, lust, Benjamin Franklin, goat-fish, aspargus, Muhammad Ali, girlpower. orgasm, and off to bed...
i return to my god-driven mistress abandonment mission
this death duty
and imagine.
opening up to a girl with a tongue ring.
she lets me in, combs my hair, tell me it going to be ok
in that quasi-sexual way
so perfected in the broken/modern dance
never fold your arms: take a futuristic stance
this is not for you: close your ears
black skin demands on a suburban sufferer -- elevating, upper case
i miss you
gentle girls create chasms in the hearts of lonely boy wonders
miss piggy kills kermit with a kiss
love is suicide don't be led amiss
darkness is shallow: shy miles make your infinite glisten
i don't need you, i can be alone
oh!, bad god -- oh!, bad god
the forever loss of manic pathways
masterer of self-destruction: so self contained
and that's what makes you smart
this is me: listen up
listen:
forever everyday dabbling into robotic giggles
pulled stringes from the corporate god structure
fate whispers, fate smites
don't be smote by the old testament father
his everyday will make you mine
swirling strings: "not now, not now"
excuse me audience as i talk to the music
a small correspondance with the black emperor
ruling my mind
the one that conquered my summer
and established a monopoly on monotonous sunshine
And so on.
this death duty
and imagine.
opening up to a girl with a tongue ring.
she lets me in, combs my hair, tell me it going to be ok
in that quasi-sexual way
so perfected in the broken/modern dance
never fold your arms: take a futuristic stance
this is not for you: close your ears
black skin demands on a suburban sufferer -- elevating, upper case
i miss you
gentle girls create chasms in the hearts of lonely boy wonders
miss piggy kills kermit with a kiss
love is suicide don't be led amiss
darkness is shallow: shy miles make your infinite glisten
i don't need you, i can be alone
oh!, bad god -- oh!, bad god
the forever loss of manic pathways
masterer of self-destruction: so self contained
and that's what makes you smart
this is me: listen up
listen:
forever everyday dabbling into robotic giggles
pulled stringes from the corporate god structure
fate whispers, fate smites
don't be smote by the old testament father
his everyday will make you mine
swirling strings: "not now, not now"
excuse me audience as i talk to the music
a small correspondance with the black emperor
ruling my mind
the one that conquered my summer
and established a monopoly on monotonous sunshine
And so on.
