Electric Thought

I am Thailand. What country are you?

Down, Down, Down
goes the power -- from old Montreal to El Bario
Think of all the tragedy:
meth addicts who can't find the vein
soccer mom with no phones to complain
surgeon losing utensils in people's brains
darkness oozes out and in
i got's angst and sin
ok: time to begin and end

Have you ever wondered what happened to the bad poetry you wrote as a teenager?Wonder no more.

I would like to recommend my own frustration -- but why do my parents have dial-up internet?
Alright I was trying to say 'express' but it came out recommend -- the strange workings of the cerebrum.
This is the beef -- I wrote the preceeding poem last night and, then, realized it was a haphazard and slapdash (good phrases) rip-off of Eliot 'Prufrock' so I got pissed off and wrote another poem that was probably kind of brutal and honest, but it really expressed my own undultered poetic voice. As I was attempting to post that second poem, I failed to realize that I was no longer online (fucking dial-up internet) and my creation was lost into the dark void of interstellar cyberspace.
From what I remember, the poem was both horrible and spectacular; although that could just have been a reflection of emotional state at that time. I dunno. It was a stream-of-counsciounes kind of thing, full of vulgarity and ideas such as: lunar and solar eclipses, government fraud, heartbreak, sadness, confusion, transcendentalism, sex, intellectual masturbation, nonsense, music, death, and the works...The poem was titled "Constantly fucking the stars; or, the eclipses," because it concluded with my thoughts on an interview I saw with the Vatican philospher. I wrote:
"The Vatican Astronomer has never been laid/ but he is constantly fucking the stars/ constantly fucking the stars/ constantly fucking the stars."
I phoned my friend Norm to discuss whether this lost artwork was retrievable or whether it was gone, daddy gone. It was gone.
But while talking to Norm, we talked about Life of Brian, among other things, and his belief there is, basically, gay porn in the Bible.
I hopefully have learned my lesson.

i am had so so many things to say today -- way way too many
poetry penetrated me purposefully -- every thoguht electric,
full verses coming at top speed -- almost making my brain bleed, but
not really -- it felt good

i could have wrote about exhiliration lust fear or hate -- all at once or separate
i didn't debate -- to do so would have been to equate -- i was never so good at math

i wanted to unleash my wrath -- show the infinite contradiction and hypocrisies that live in every heart,
oh!, but where to start
at one point, i wanted to insist that literature was bullshit and we should all read Tintin

i was feeling thin, i was feeling thin

There, There little one - your heart is your friend
There, There little one - your heart is your friend
be honest -- don't let the fuckers make your point

i, even, at one point kind of liked myself
and felt OK 'bout the life I had lived
up that point in the day --
then, i ate a bag of chips and felt sick

i had so many things to say today -- it breaks my heart

A Million Songs, A Million Electric Thoughts, A Million Regrets,
A Milion Maybe-I-Should-Turn-Backs...Or Maybe I Don't Cares -- and Fear
But i did. and now i'm done.

i had so many things to say today -- Sorry mom, Sorry dad -- but i did, and i'm not done

Oh god!, I am not me -- I am Prufrock, I am not me -- I must be tired
because none of this is as beautiful as the stream-of-consciousness that married me a million moments earlier
marred -- god.

the city is an animal
i am a dog
let's be honest -- this is meant to hurt
this is meant to hurt
this is meant to hurt
this is meant to hurt
this is meant to hurt

find that one sonic phrase, to close my brain
hey, maybe the truth of pain
hey, maybe suffering
hey, maybe love
My joy is divided -- love has torn torn torn
us apart, again, again, again, again, not again

aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
good god dividing diving driving
raping me softly with this song, with this song
pop culture almalgam -- what a disease.

Next Target: The Church and its Persecution of Faggotry

If it is all as cut-and-dry as the Church says -- a man should sexual relations (to use a Clintonism) with a woman and the reverse -- then why did God create hemaphrodites and people with ambigious sexual organs. I read an article in the past month which states that in one of every thousand births the child is intersexual -- it is not immediately obvious whether the child is boy or girl. So what is God's great plan for these people.
Let me illustrate the problem with some examples: Let us say a child is born as an intersexual, they have ambigious sexual organs but are chromosonally male. But, because it is easier for doctors to determine (through surgery) that the child is a female, that is what the child becomes. Hence, the child is chromosonally male and anatomically female. Let's say later in life that "female" begins to lust for other females, as those that are chromosonally male often do. Is this sinful? Come on Church, you should know the answer.
Ok there could be tons more examples, but what I am trying to say that the issue of sexuality is much more complicated than the Church, straight people, or even a lot of gay people give it credit.

Colin Powell is a traitor to the Human Race

So Colin Powell is talking about resigning. You mean he is not overwhelmed with pride at the possibility of being the Secretary of State of a country in which ever other black male is in prison, deals crack, or plays in the NBA -- really? Colin Powell is a traitor to even have any hand in a government that sponsors a War on Terrorism, a War on Drugs, and a War on its own fucking citizens. OK, so we are going to spend billions of dollars on national defense (aka. bombing arab countries), billions of dollars on imprisoning/enslaving black people, and then we are going to hire a black whatever-the-fuck Condolezza Rice is, and half-black Colin Powell, and they are going to love us...wrong, fucking wrong.
So Colin Powell get out while you have a shred of dignity left you blind traitor.
And, as for Arnold Swartznegger, now America will have blacks, jews, and a nazi in power...uh, I mean, an evil cyborg...uh, I mean a nazi-cyborg. Hey, the Austrians were with the bad guys. How soon we forget.

God is inevitability is god is a mod
Talk me to baby -- don't bob and nod
i want to love you like the first time we ate our ketchup, like come on
toast
You the most
Oh!, give love my love to the holy ghost and his host of chickadee friends
forget it, cuntbreath, i's got the bends
don't portend as you sharply end this fragment pen, again
bounce baby, bounce
All the child slave labourers sorround the SUV, please
tip it up like fuck
fuck-cunt-licious -- terrorist bastards
not givin' love to the creator, the master, like Hegel
crass ass fucks, I be there to pump you in the anus
full of lead, till you dead, bitch
don't be switchin' this joint to poetry:
the garden beckons and calls me
ah nigga, what are you trying to show me?

dogstar fucking popsicle shit
and bitchaz -- on whippets
gettin' off on that radical fucking isolation unabomber fucking shit
you know, with the fucking glasses and the spraycan
fucking getting off on Japan, Tokyo

the imagination turn my cranks like a lever
sever the curse
accelerate the hearse
niggaz in leather
niggaz in spandex
George the II is calling off the blitz -- that fucking nazi cunt plumber, bitch
Yes. Yes. Yes. y'all
Give a shout out to Houston.

the eagle has landed
the terrorists are stranded
call in recruits:
how come their is no niggaz on the moon

cunt-fuelled racial conspiracy by the vatican the CIA and your mom
taking it up the bum twice weekly
from Jason Priestly

speak meekly -- be real
shows me how you feel
god is love
like a raping a dove
sanctifies the police
pahhleez, wigga

"Christ. Was that a dignified death? Do you think it's dignified to hang from wood with nails through your hands and feet? Had Christ died in my van, with people around him who loved him, it would be far more dignified."
Jack Kevorkian

I think this is one of the coolest fucking paragraphs ever written in the English language; it is from Herman Melville's Moby Dick:

"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast pratical joke, through the wit therof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own. However, nothing dispirits, and nothing seems worth while disputing. He bolts down all events, all creeds, and beliefs, and persuasions, all hard things visible and invisible, never mind how knobby; as an ostrich of potent digestion gobbles down bulllets and gun flints. And as for small difficulties and worryings, prospects of sudden disaster, peril of life and limb; all these, and death itself, seem to him only a sly, good-natured hits, and jolly punches in the side bestowed by the unseen and unaccountable old joker. That odd sort of wayward mood I am speaking of, comes over a man in some time of extreme tribulation; it comes in the very midst of his earnestness, so that what just before might have seemed to him most momentous, but a part of the general joke. There is nothing like the perils of whaling to breed this free and easy sort of genial, desperado philosophy; and with it I now regarded this whole voyage of the Pequod, and the Great White Whale its object."